


I caused this

by TilDeathDoWeLove25



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, I'll add more if I add part 2, M/M, mutial pining, though Keith thinks it's only one sided
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 14:38:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TilDeathDoWeLove25/pseuds/TilDeathDoWeLove25
Summary: Written in Keith's point of view, possibly more than one point of view. based on catneylang's animatic that broke the fandom.Sorry I had to.





	I caused this

Out of everything I could remember from my trip through the quantum abyss, one flash of the future stuck out to me more than anything I saw. Sure, there were glimpses of the past that even my mother saw, things that I tried to keep hidden even from myself. Yet, there I was frozen in terror at what I was seeing. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise with how he was always flirting with her. Yet it shook me to my very core watching them together, laughing, so much love between them. I was already in too deep. If it hurt me as bad as it did, I’d already fallen too hard for the boy with a dazzling smile and bright blue eyes. I should’ve known that he’d pick her. Allura was beyond perfect in every aspect of the word, and she was a princess… everything that Lance deserved.

 

I wanted to blame her, but I just couldn’t because it was my fault. I caused this by leaving. If I’d stayed, maybe Lance and me would have ended up closer. Maybe, just maybe, he would have seen me in the same light that I see him. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt to think that I would never change his mind. I’ve heard before, that the future isn’t set in stone, but I would give up anything— no, _everything_ , just to see him that happy. If it meant letting him go, then I would. I’m not good at emotions… if anything, I’m actually horrible with them. Everyone was always leaving me behind, so the logical thing in my mind is usually to push them away before they reject me. I never wanted to do that to Lance, but seeing him again makes me ache for something that I know I’ll never have. And of course he makes some off-handed comment, asking how he was to be sure it was me… and not my cooler grizzled older brother… in a way it was kind of a compliment, but I couldn’t let it go to my head.

 

I saw glimpses of other things… _felt_ other things, yet… it was always him. Maybe she was who he was meant to end up with from the beginning— but I just desperately wanted it to be me. I couldn’t keep pushing him away, especially with his close we’d gotten before I left for the Blades. I had to say something, even if it wasn’t reciprocated. I had to know, because not knowing was just going to eat me up inside. So I mustered up all the courage I possibly could, and made my way out of my own hospital room and down the hall where his was. The door was closed, but there was a light on inside. No matter how much courage I was able to gather, nothing… and I mean _nothing_ would prepare me for what I was about to see when I opened that door.

 

I froze where I stood as I watched them, not even daring to make my presence known. They were too preoccupied with each other to even notice that I was there, and it hurt so bad. I wanted to run. But no, I stood there frozen until they broke apart. Only then did I turn and leave with a rushed “didn’t mean to interrupt.” My disdain was probably obvious with the way I’d practically spat those words. I didn’t stay to see the look on his face, and quite honestly I was much too preoccupied with how my heart stuttered in my chest as I hurried down the hall and out of the building, before anyone could see me… or the tears that were steadily rolling down my cheeks. Unfortunately luck wasn’t on my side as I heard the sound of bare feet running after me. No. I wouldn’t let him see me like this. He deserved to be happy, no matter how badly my chest ached, or how much I wanted to be selfish and take him away from her. He got what he wanted. Why couldn’t I just be happy? I wished I’d never fallen in love with him so I didn’t hurt like this—

 

“Keith, please wait!”

 

I wished he’d just give up, but unfortunately, the sound of his voice made me freeze in my tracks. He sounded almost apologetic. Maybe it was just my wishful thinking. Soon a hand fell on my shoulder and I heard him sigh, “are you okay?”

 

I was far from okay. But I nodded anyway, not trusting my voice at that moment. I still didn’t look at him, fearing that he’d take one look at my tear-stricken face and pity me. I didn’t want his pity, I wanted his love. That was a far-fetched idea if I’d ever thought of one. “I’m fine…” I said quietly, hoping my voice didn’t break. I was sure I heard Lances breath hitch at the sound of my voice, but I couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t just my imagination. The imagination of a hopeful fool in love. My mom had seen the flashes of my memories, so she knew how I felt about Lance. It was just hard. “I just… needed air.” I lied. I was good at that, just like I was good at hiding my emotions for the most part, “you should go back to Allura… oh, congrats by the way. I know how much you care for her.” With that, I started walking again, willing my eyes to stop leaking.

 

Of course, they didn’t. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the tears started to come faster by that point. I needed to get away. Far away. So I did what I do best and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I shouldn’t have dared to glance back, but when I did he was still standing there with a confused expression and his arm stretched out as though it were still on my shoulder. He looked like a kicked puppy. Normally, I would have brought myself to care and went back to him. But, I didn’t. I just rounded the corner and kept going until I found myself alone in the hangar where our lions were. Black lowered his head and allowed me into the cockpit, as though he were aware that I needed to be alone. God, my chest hurt. I hadn’t felt like this since the day my dad never came home. Since the day they took me away from my home. I curled up in the pilot’s chair and wrapped my arms around my knees and just let myself cry….

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not the type to write something when something else is unfinished, but I needed a break from the Witch AU and something angsty. Thus this was written at 2am last night and finished at 3pm today haha. I love when I’m in an angsty mood. 
> 
> ANYWAY!
> 
> Thanks for reading! There will most likely be a part 2, but I haven’t fully decided yet. Catneylang’s animatic killed me. So I had to write something from Keith’s POV that included the feelings after their crash. Also, Keith is so wrapped up in what he thinks he saw, that he didn’t realize they were only hugging. Maybe I’ll include Lance’s POV in part 2!


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